Today, I celebrate my 45th birthday!
This year feels different for one powerful reason:
I’ve taken control and no longer let my mood dictate my life.
I know, I know, it doesn’t sound like I won a million dollars, jet setting with the rich and famous, but indulge me for a minute or two.
My mood held the reins. I mean, I am a pisces and we are all about the mood - whether good or "not so good".
But for me, if I woke up feeling not so great, the entire day went badly. If I woke up anxious, everything became challenging. If I felt irritated, everyone else seemed to be the issue.
It was quite unsettling how normal that felt. I was at the mercy of my mood, and it was part of my life
I tried to manage it in many ways. I strived to be the “good girl” by avoiding my feelings and staying quiet to avoid conflict with others. I deeply believed that if I created a perfect environment, my mood would finally calmmm down. I think it made me feel worse within.
But moods can arise without reason, stemming from your old patterns, fears, or stress, some unaddressed pain in the body, leaving the nervous system on high alert.
Then, I had a breakthrough:
I don’t have to obey every mood I feel.
I can acknowledge them without letting them dictate my actions for the day.
I truly believe that real growth happens here and not in pretending everything is fine or forcing a positive mindset, but in learning to pause and make conscious choices.
My mood was the type to speak very quickly, if you will. It was never an outburst but an internal one. It always sounded convincing, urging me to cancel plans, react impulsively, or withdraw from others (still working on this one).
Today, I can counter it with: “I hear you, and I’m still choosing what’s best for me.”
I was never great at talking about things right away; I usually swept them under the rug. But now, I’m learning to be gentle with myself. I take a moment to reflect, holding my oxygen mask in hand, and I approach my feelings with curiosity. This way, I give myself the time to have meaningful conversations without letting strong emotions take over.
That, my friends, is called true emotional maturity, not a life without lows, but a life where those lows don’t take control. Whew!
So, if you resonate with this and think, “My mood drives everything in my life,” know that change is possible. It won’t happen overnight, and know that it doesn’t come from self-shaming, criticizing your shifts, or trying harder. We gotta also take into account body changes like hormones and other circumstances that feel out of our control.
Change begins when you build trust in yourself through small, intentional choices, even on your demanding mood days.
Your future self is not shaped by your best days; it’s built on days when your mood wants to take over, and you choose to stay grounded.
So today is incredible, not just because I’m turning 45, but because I’m becoming someone who can feel a mood without becoming the mood.
I'm wishing you well on this journey if you choose to walk it.
Love and so much light
Vee
